https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-c52d4-1a9a131
I finally catch up on what I wrote over the last while, which is fitting because these chapters wrap up the story elements and sides of the character Penelope that serve as introductions for the reader. I got stuck here, mainly because this is where I really need to start delving into the meat of the story. Reviewing and talking out this section helped me pin down a few ways to move forward, which I’ll talk about next time.
I recently started revising Date Shark as part of my plan to overhaul my previous books before republishing under my married name (DelSheree Spinner) and my new publishing company (DelSheree Press LLC).
Date Shark seemed like a good place to start because it’s romance, which I have a better sense of how to market, it’s a complete series, and it’s had good response over the years so I thought it would probably need the least amount of work.
I’m about halfway through the first book, Date Shark (which will be getting a title update once I figure out what exactly that will be), and it did not take more than a page for me to realize I was way wrong on the whole “least amount of work” idea. The story structure is there and won’t require any major changes, but the characters are a different story.
They are not who I thought they were.
Let’s start with Leila, who has some issues but less so than Eli. I remember writing Leila to be sweet, naive, lacking in confidence, and talented and hardworking.
Some of that remains true looking back at her about 10 years later. What reads completely differently to me now is that she seeks out people who tell her who to be and how to live and she takes their advice with too little thought.
This creates stark inconsistencies in her character over the first half of the book. She’s eager to improve herself but doesn’t think through the suggestions she gets and allows herself to be bossed around and manipulated. It painted those as positive characteristics without meaning to. She’s supposed to be the heroine of her story, but others are driving the plot.
My main revisions with her character so far are to make her more thoughtful, even with her early naivete and low self-image. I know from the beginning that her character arc needs to involved recognizing when others are pushing her to bend to their will and plans and develop strength to stand up for her needs and desires. The area where she bends and wobbles in the early chapters are intentional now, allow Leila to learn from mistakes, not me mistaking gaslighting for compromise.
Who I remembered Eli being was charming, caring, a bit obsessive thanks to some personal demons, but a near-perfect best friend with the potential for more.
Upon this most recent reading, I realized he was basically none of those things. He was manipulative from just about page one, controlling, demanding, sneaky, and intrusive. I was genuinely shocked to realize I had written a character that was so unlike what I was trying to accomplish. My view of relationships was so skewed at that time that I didn’t see how un-Prince Charming Eli was behaving.
There was a scene early in the book when they meet to discuss their initial “fake” date where Eli basically diagnosis her dating life troubles. She is understandably anxious and demoralized in this scene after he’s laid out everything she did that could set off warning bells for a date. It’s forgivable that she doesn’t speak the thoughts in her head that explain her intentions or contradict the man she hired to provide advice for improvement. That’s part of her growth arc.
What’s not forgivable is how Eli attempts to manipulate the situation more than once through touch and by telling her what to do even after he has admitted to himself that he doesn’t understand why she came to him. He wants to manufacture ways to spend more time with her, claims it’s to help her grow under his tutelage, yet almost withholds an invitation from a friend that would give her an opportunity to test out his advice purely out of jealousy.
I was so unhappy with this scene that I had to step away to think about it before I could begin revising. I narrowed down what was bothering me most about the scene to Eli’s manipulative behavior. I despise manipulation. I know exactly how detrimental it is to self-worth and relationships. If I wanted readers to believe this relationship could last, it couldn’t be based on manipulation.
So, I cut the touching. I’ve cut quite a bit of touching so far. That may seem weird for a romance novel, but it wasn’t the right kind of touching. It crossed professional boundaries in ways I hadn’t recognized before and now created an icky feeling when I read it. Yes, Eli is struggling to balance his attraction to Leila and his desires to touch her with his role as a mentor of sorts, so his internal struggle remains at the forefront of his thoughts. That’s where it needs to stay, though.
I also went line-by-line reevaluating his dialogue and Leila’s responses. I change what came off now as commands to suggestions or recommendations, things she might consider trying. I made him more honest about the limitations of his advice and had him ask more questions to increase his understanding. This helped develop the scene into more of a conversation than a patriarchal talking down session.
Eli still doesn’t come off as perfect in the scene, but that’s now on purpose. I highlight his internal flaws elsewhere to show the reader where his improvement path leads. He doesn’t know how to manage the emotions he feels for Leila, particularly in light of his history with his mother. He has to battle the desire to maintain control over his life while being dragged toward opening up to someone he cares about. He’s terrified of the pain that might bring.
I’d originally used the tagline “When it comes to choosing between obsession and passion, some lines should be crossed.” This completely missed the point of Eli’s growth arc. He’s not obsessive in his personal life nor his pursuit of Leila.
His life once spun completely out of control because of someone else’s choices and he coped by taking control of everything he could. It makes him successful in his professional life, but has kept him from having any meaningful romantic relationships. He sees a possibility of breaking out of that pattern with Leila, but it’s terrifying and selfish to put his needs before hers.
Revising the first half of this book has really helped me solidify who these characters are, what growth is needed to achieve the right ending, and how I can more accurately portray them to the reader.
A little relevant history with this book: it was the first non-paranormal book I wrote and I wasn’t sure if it was any good. It was meant to be a standalone and I didn’t send it to beta readers or friends before submitting it to a publisher that was interested in my work. The publisher offered a contract and then I didn’t hear from them for months. When I asked about editing, they said it was so clean it didn’t need anything and had already been moved on to formatting. They were way wrong on that, even before I realized how off-base the characters were. Reviews frequently mentioned poor editing. Even when I got my rights back and re-edited it, the character problems were still lurking. This book really never went through a full editing process, and it clearly needed it.
I started revisions knowing I wanted to touch up the characters and relationship arc. I seriously underestimated what that would require, but having that focus has been very helpful in guiding me. If I find typos, I of course fix them, but I really like the idea of editing for something specific and not just “editing.” I’m finding that I am much more productive and zeroed in on specific goals with this style of editing. I’ll take this approach into revisions on my other books as well.
I’ll wrap up with a note about the series, which I’m sure I’ll revisit in the future as I continue working on this series. A problem with read-through on this series I noticed when analyze sales data for the last 15 years was that of my main series, this one had the lowest read-through rate. Individual books had good reviews, so this puzzled me at first. What I realize now is that across the series there is inconsistency in the spice level, the tone, and the focus of the romances.
As I work on the series as a whole, another editing goal is to improve consistency across all five books so reader get a good sense of what the series is in this first book and that is delivered across the full series. This wasn’t something I really thought about while writing them, but I’m taking a more business-minded approach to my series while still making sure the books stay true to the characters and story overall. It will be an interesting balance to strike.
While the hook is critical to a great blurb, the body of the blurb deserves equal attention. Consider it’s effectiveness as a whole as well as it’s individual parts.
Choosing the right words can make all the different in a blurb. Be certain to make sure your word choice communicates the tone of the story by using words that fit the genre and situation. A dark thriller will use more intense wording while a rom-com will use light, fun words.
Word choice should also match the time period and regional setting. If you’re writing historical fiction that should be apparent within a few sentences through carefully selected words and phrases. Maintain regional accuracy without overloading the blurb with slang or colloquialisms.
It’s also all right to use hyperbole when appropriate, such as “unimaginable” for a shocking crime or “intoxicating” for a sudden and passionate romance, but don’t overdo it. Stuffing the blurb with hyperbole will exhaust the reader.
Avoid clichés, superfluous words, description, unnecessary adverbs, and “chatter” as much as possible. The blurb should be too the point and directly communicate the basics of the story to the reader.
Blurbs should run 100-150 words in most cases. Blurbs placed on the back cover of a book may be longer depending on space available during formatting. Blurbs for online retailers should be on the shorter end of the range since people browsing often skim.
Don’t try to tell the reader everything you think might interest them in a blurb. Stick to the important highlights and leave backstory, secondary characters, subplots, and similar information to be discovered when reading the full book.
It may be helpful to start writing a blurb with bullet points to sift out what should and shouldn’t be mentioned. Expand on the bullet points with 1-2 sentences about each point.
This isn’t a must in a hook, but for many stories a cliffhanger ending in a blurb will be a good nudge for readers toward purchasing.
Cliffhangers can also help you avoid giving away too much in a blurb. Cliffhangers focus on the main conflict the characters face but only hint at a possible resolution. It’s important to present the problem and leave readers wondering how the character will overcome it.
The answer to how the story will resolve shouldn’t be too obvious.
Even with books that are more formulaic, it’s important to make the reader curious about how this particular story will unfold. While most romances end in a happily-ever-after scenario, they don’t (or shouldn’t) all reach it the same way. Hint at the uniqueness and leave it at that.
Once you’ve finished crafting the blurb, the work isn’t quite done. It’s important to format blurbs according to genre conventions. Each main genre has it’s own nuances when it comes to formatting. Fore example:
Contemporary romance tends to use short, 1-2 sentence paragraphs that highlight main points of the storyline.
Historical romance tends to use longer paragraphs with a more in-depth summary of each point of interest.
Study blurbs on Amazon in your genre to make sure you’re formatting correctly. Of course, sometimes you need to break out of conventions to highlight a unique aspect of your story, but make sure there’s a reason for using a unique format and that it conveys the tone or action of the story.
I’m generally a big fan of carving your own path and ditching conventions that don’t work for you, but when it comes to blurbs, that may make you lose your mind. Blurbs are so challenging for most writers there’s no point reinventing the wheel and doubling the work. Start with what is time tested and reliable, then adjust and adapt to make it suit your work.
Below is a general formula that will get you started with writing a well-structured blurb. Once you have the basic elements, change it up in whatever way best portrays your novel and compels a reader’s interest.
The first 1-2 sentences should state the purpose or central theme of the story or character journey. These few words should also briefly introduce the characters and initial situation. It is critical that the reader finds the characters interesting and likable, or they will not want to spend hours with them reading the book. Lastly, the first few lines should introduce the main problem or source of conflict.
The first paragraph should indicate the twist without giving too much away. Don’t spoil the ending in the blurb or give away important details that will take away from the story’s suspense when reading. Limit yourself to establishing the stakes of failure or of the relationship not working out.
The last paragraph should wrap up the story introduction and entice readers to find out more. The desire to know more relies heavily on a connection with the characters. If the reader doesn’t care about the character, he or she will not care about what happens to the character, either. End the blurb with a question or with a sentence that sets the overall mood of the story. Again, do NOT give away the ending!
A blurb is not a synopsis. It’s a tease meant to make the reader need to buy the book in order to know how the characters’ story will end.
Convincing the reader they need to know the ending starts with developing a connect between the story and/or characters and the reader, but it’s also important to realize the blurb is a sales pitch and needs to be written like one.
The first sentence must grab the reader’s attention. Readers have very short attention spans and tend to skim when browsing online. You have minimal time to hook them and make them ask what will happen next?
Think of this first sentence (two at the most) as an elevator pitch. It should capture the most interesting part of the story. That may be the conflict, mystery, romance, etc. When writing this sentence, consider what element of the story will have the biggest draw for readers and focus on that aspect.
Whatever will most make readers want to check out your book, mention it in the first line. This first sentence often sits by itself on retailer sites before the bulk of the blurb, giving it a better chance to catch the reader’s attention.
The preview on most ebook retailer sites barely gives you more than a sentence or two before readers have to click “read more,” so make that first sentence count!
Book 3 (Wicked Glory) was supposed to be the last book. There was too much to fit everything in, wrap up all the questions, and not give readers whiplash.
So, a book 4 was needed. Unfortunately, so was the time to write it. Not only was 2015 super busy, I overloaded my writing schedule and got behind on just about everything. Add it the fact that I always go into panic mode about finishing a series, and there’s a reason this book is coming out more than a year and a half after book 3.
SORRY!
Wicked Revenge is going into editing mode, but I’ll have it up for pre-order while that’s happening…which will be soon. But just in case you’re having Ketchup withdrawals, here’s a peek a what’s coming up in the fourth and FINAL (for real this time) installment of this wicked series.
And in advance, yes I know I’m so mean for sharing this excerpt, but I had to…
~*~
“Van,” he says slowly, “we need to go, now.”
“What?” I ask a split second before the glass of both passenger side windows explodes.
Lunging for Ketchup, I drag him down to the wheel wells and throw my body on top of him. Bullets continue to slam into the car, jerking it back and forth as I bite back a terrified scream. Heat sears across my shoulder, and at least one bullet is lodged in my left thigh. It’s only seconds, maybe five, but it feels like a lifetime before the report of gunfire stops and squealing tires replaces it.
As soon as it does, I lift myself off Ketchup and ask, “Are you okay? Ketchup?”
I’m stuck trying to get out from under the steering wheel when a strange choking noise freezes me. Warm fluid bursts against my forearm and suddenly I can’t breathe. “Ketchup? Ketchup? Answer me!” Panicked scrambling gets me out from under the steering wheel and I reach for his half-turned body. Terror and my own pain kept me from recognizing anything else until I saw the blood seeping from his chest.
Tears blur my vision as I start babbling, “No, no, no, no,” over and over again. His pains overwhelms me and my hunger screams at me to lap it up, but I can’t. This is my fault. My doing. I knew how dangerous it was to leave without protection. I didn’t care when I sped away from the house, didn’t put his safety above my own delusional self-importance.
Find the rest of the series HERE
Pop over to Amazon and enter to win an ebook copy of TROUBLE MAGNET the first book in the Eliza Carlisle Mystery series.
Eliza Carlisle has the unwanted talent of attracting trouble, in all its forms. That couldn’t be truer than when she moves into the most bizarre apartment building on the planet. Weekly required dinners with the landlord and assigned chores are bad enough, but the rules don’t end there. Top most on the list of requirements is NO physical violence against the others residents.
There have been issues.
In the past.
The young manager, Sonya, claims that hasn’t been a problem recently, but Eliza comes home from her first day of culinary school to find a dead resident, her next door neighbor looking good for the crime, and a cop that seems more interested in harassing her than solving the case.
All Eliza wanted was to escape her past and start over, completely anonymous in a big city. That’s not going to be so easy when the killer thinks she’s made off with a valuable piece of evidence everyone is trying to get their hands on. The ultimatum that she turn it over to save her own life creates a small problem. Eliza has no idea what the killer wants, or where the mysterious object might be.
If she can’t uncover a decades old mystery in time, surviving culinary school will be the least of her problems.
BARGAIN: is a themed anthology put together by the Creative Writing Institute, a 501c3 non-profit organization that provides writing classes to cancer patients.
I was so pleased to be invited to contribute a short story to the anthology. This is the first look readers will get at the first book in my new project, The Eliza Carlisle Mystery Series. So look for “Grandma Crazy Town” in the anthology!
The Ghost Host is ON SALE!
Pick up your favorite medium this week for ONLY $0.99
The sale only lasts until Dec 26th, 2015, so grab your copy now and meet Echo and Ghost Host crew before things get too spooky!
Shark in Troubled Waters (Date Shark #4) is up for pre-order!
Date Shark fans already know Sabine, but Michael is a bit more of a mystery, for readers and Sabine. Come join them on their adventure full of laughs, heartache, and surprises.
Valentine, Pets & Kisses is up for pre-order as well!
Check out these 14 All-New sweet romances. This is where readers will get their first look at “The Crazy Girl’s Handbook” in the novella version included in the set. The full novel will be coming Feb 2016!
I have a couple of fun sales to shout out about this weekend ONLY!
Amanda Strong has her sci-fi thriller HIDDEN MONSTER on sale and I have the full Aerling Series set on sale for less than $2!
Hidden Monster: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NWIMO6A/
Invisible (FREE): http://amzn.to/1uOK4im
Intangible (0.99): http://amzn.to/1q9i62Z
Invincible (0.99): http://amzn.to/1Gvw7Ke
Create an “Event” on FB, then add details of where/when, who’s participating, prizes, games, etc.
Invite Friends and Readers and encourage them to invite more people.
Invite other authors
Games
Prizes
Teasers
uests may have been invited by someone else and don’t know about your book. Interest them with teasers/excerpts in the form of images and/or quotes.Time Limit
Create your own Hashtag #DelShereesReleaseParty
Play Question and Picture based games
Retweet chain
Time Limit
To listen to the full podcast on Creating A Marketing Plan That’s Actually Doable, check out the Write. Publish. Repeat. Podcast Part 1 and Part 2.//studio.stupeflix.com/embed/rXtwD2vs5JI7/
